I can’t buy new clothes until I lose ten pounds.

by

I am made of white grape jelly:
Useless globs to spread upon sandwiches.
My stomach bulges, pregnant,
With food and fat and flab.

In other words, y’all, I seriously need to go to the gym. Also, the title is for real. I refuse to waste money on clothes that don’t look good on me anyway, so I made a deal with myself. Here I go!

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